Are you between the ages of 35 - 55 and have explored online dating or dating apps?
If so, have you been catfished or actually catfished someone? For those wondering,
catfish - (v.) to lure someone into a relationship by means of a fictional online persona.
I met my ex-husband via online social media but it was not a completely cold connection. He and I shared common threads between mutual acquaintences. However, once the relationship got deeper, I did learn that he had misrepresented himself in some areas. He was not a complete catfish, but he certainly presented a better version of himself.
As a woman over 40, the dating pool is more of a swamp. Men my age are pursuing women 10, sometimes 20 years younger than me. In the majority of the experiences single women in my age have, the men we meet are - at the least - not on the same page as we are in our whole goal and intention when using these avenues to meet people.
Just last week, an absolutely beautiful friend of mine who experienced a painful divorce as a result of infidelity about 10 years ago dipper her toe in this swamp. She created a real profile, with real pictures, and a very candid and honest profile. She got vulnerable and put herself out there after spending the time since her divorce raising her children and healing her heart. Her stories of the potential men she met were dissapointing. Guys sending unsolicited nude images; demanding discreation (because they were acutally married); or portaying in their profile that they were looking for a relationship but really, only wanting a hookup.
After spending a few weeks putting herself out there, she met someone that had potential. He seems genuinely nice, had a good job, shared similar beliefs and philosophies. He wasn’t a troll and my beautiful friend was just glowing as she spoke of the mere possibility.
Then she did a Google image search. The guy had created a completely fictional persona including another persons pics, background, career, and more. The only thing that wasn’t a carbon copy of the person he created was the name.
I have questions….so many questions…
Why? What is the end game here? And more….
I want to understand this phenomenon. Why people fictionalize themselves like this?
If you’re someone that does this, I’d like to talk to you. If you’re something who has experienced this, I’d like to hear from you as well. All conversations will be confidential but research gathered will be used for a follow up on this discussion (sources will not be revealed).
Comment below or message me on my socia media.