Being Brave and Brokenhearted

I confess....while some my roll their eyes at the new-fangled stories Brené Brown tells, I am all in when it comes to her words. They are so very powerful to me and speak to how I want to continually live as a women, a mother, a professional, a friend - basically what I need to wake up and bring to the table every day to be an upright, contributor to our society. Here's a little something she shared on her website, www.brenebrown.com .

Being Heroes

I’d love to be a hard core blogger. One that writes blogs that are picked up by the Huffington Post and shared virally where all the sudden, morning news shows want to interview me for my profound words and know how I delve into those deep recesses of my mind. I’d love to have that life, but I don’t.

I rarely blog. Things have to get me all sorts of riled up to blog. I have to right a wrong. I have to slay a dragon. I have put on the cape and be wound up enough to blog about thing. And…I have to have a few free moments to put virtual pen to paper and get it out there.

The last 24 hours have been that. I’ve had to make choices since yesterday that I didn’t want to make. I’ve had to do things I wish others hadn’t made me do. I’ve had to push the envelope and make someone’s life more difficult than it was yesterday. I don't like to be that person. 

As parents, we have to be advocates for our kids. We have to make the hard decisions about when to push and when to let things go. We have to educate ourselves on the rules of the games or the causes, symptoms, and cures of the ailments. These youthful humans – they are our responsibility as parents to care for a mold into adult humans that will be GOOD PEOPLE. People who understand right from wrong. People who know when there is an injustice and to speak up rather than pretend they didn’t see. People who aren’t afraid to stand tall.

My daughter is in an extra-curricular program at school that is not athletic-based. In years past, she has loved this activity. This year, not so much. This year has been hard. Winning has been the buzz word all year (mind you we’re only 6 months in). Win at all costs. Push the practice limits to the very edge and then go about 2 more inches past the edge, fingernails breaking grasping on to the edge.

While it hasn’t been uttered out loud. The message has been very clear.

Nothing is as important as this activity and WINNING.

This week, we hit a snag in the road. She is failing a class. Gasp! As a sophomore in high school, she has never failed anything in her school career. Her practice schedule and her class load (all AP and Pre-AP classes) is insane. Her determination is admirable and her work ethic stellar, but she is struggling.

I go to her extra-curricular teacher and ask for some wiggle room.

Me: “She’s failing. We need to sit out a practice, maybe more. She needs to focus on finals.”

Teacher’s Response: “It’s an AP class, she doesn’t need to pass, just a 60 and we’ll get a waiver and she can still be part of the group.”

Me: “I don’t care about the group! I care that she may fail an entire semester and have to repeat!”

Teacher: “I can’t help you.”

Discussions continue. Finally! I think she's given a pass and can focus on finals. She wakes up this morning at the crack of dawn, "Mom, please text Mr. X and make sure he won't be mad at me for missing practice. I do this and am assured all is fine. 

Fast forward a few hours - a text from my daughter,

"Mr. X got mad at me and flipped out...he told us all to go study because we have finals...so yeah, I should've definitely came to practice." 

I'm heartbroken.

I’m heartbroken at the lack of vision for my daughter’s future.

I’m heartbroken that I’ve allowed it to get this far without stepping in.

Her instructor in the extra-curricular activity is angry she is missing practice. He is passive aggressive, making off-handed comments about finals. She’s worried that they will single her out in the future if I say something. I’m forced to complain and move up the chain of command. I feel like I’m forced to be “THAT PARENT.” You know, the one that talks crazy to the teachers…the one that all the other parents look at and say, “Oh she’s one of THOSE parents.” I don’t want to be that parent.

However, I want to teach my daughter a few things and I will not allow anyone to bully her.

I want to remind her (she really already knows) that her education matters above all else right now. School is her “job” for the time being and I expect her to be her best at it 100% of the time. I want her to know that winning isn’t everything. It feels good, real good, to win but some days, you’re not bringing your A-Game and you have to admit you’re not the best. I want her to know that when other people are having struggles, it is not okay for them to take it out on you. It’s unacceptable and at no point do you have to sit back and take it – even if an adult is doing it. I want her to know that there are people out there that will do the right thing, no matter how painful it is.

I don’t know what the coming days will bring but I spoke up and became that parent today. I didn’t want to do it and I feel a little bit beat up for doing it. For other momma's out there, have you ever had to do this? When do you have to step up, put on your cape, and fight injustice and be a hero?